SWASHBUCKLING

Lord Of The Rings.  All 3 movies.  The greatest book ever written, broken into three parts… now made into a film where the film makers want to actually stay as close to the books as they can.  As a result, it's the greatest movie ever made.  

Gladiator.  This is one of those inspirational movies with an epic story of man overcoming all odds and finding justice.  Russell Crow kicks ass in this new classic… Like Spartacus, but bigger and will a better soundtrack.

Rob Roy.  This is a great story of triumph over evil… this movie speaks to me personally.  My wife and I love it.  It has probably the ickiest bad guy ever... dude is nasty.  The ending will make you want to stand and cheer.  

Braveheart.  The story of William Wallace as told by Mel Gibson.  It’s not very accurate historically, but it’s an enjoyable film regardless.   

13th Warrior.  Based on the “Eaters of the Dead” and “Beowulf”, it’s a grisly story about some Viking types. Very cool if you like Vikings.  I do.  “Lo there do I see my father. Lo there do I see my mother, my sisters, and my brothers. Lo there do I see the line of my people, back to the beginning. Lo they do call me. They bid me take my place among them in the Halls of Valhalla. Where the brave may live forever.”

Pirates of the Caribbean.  Hot babe, Pirates, Cannons, and rum.  Did I mention the hot babe?  This is a fun movie that I didn’t think I would like at all… but it turns out I love it.  Damn, she is fine.  Johnny Depp’s character is uniquely humorous.  

Heaven and Earth.  The Japanese import film.  This is the most beautifully filmed movie ever made.  I'm looking for this to come out on wide screen DVD.  Subtitled. 

Princess Bride.  This delightful film is the most quotable film ever.  It's everyone’s movie.  Anyone can watch this fairy tale, and enjoy it.  Something about it you can't put your finger one.   It's almost the Perfect Movie.

Three Musketeers.  Another flick that has it all.  Drama, Romance, Action, Comedy.  I mean, come on… Porthos the Pirate.  Classic.  The astonishing thing is that this is a Disney movie.  Crazy.  Why is the Queen's handmaiden so much hotter than the Queen?  I don't know either, but she is.  And the Cardinal?  Best Villain Ever.

Fist of Legend.  This is like THE martial arts flick.  Most other martial arts movies made after this one has taken from it in part.   Not really a sword flick, but a hand to hand one… so I’ll put it here.  This flick is a must see for the Martial Artist.

The Last Samurai.  Tom Cruise’s greatest roll since playing Maverick in Top Gun.  Some might call this “Dances with Ninjas” to play off the Kevin Costner plot, but I think that might give too much credit to Kevin Costner.  The is more like Last of the Mohicans in its scope, cinematography, and story.  

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.  A Poem put to Film.  Two love stories wrapped together.

A Knight's Tale.  This flick is something special... Great Characters and Great Story.  It touches on a theme that most any guy can relate with... Finally making Dad proud.  This movie is a must see.  Music by Queen.

Seven Samurai.   This is one of those old school foreign films that has been rehashed by Hollywood, mercilessly.  Watch the original.  Appreciate the original.        

WAR

Band Of Brothers.  True story of a remarkable group of men, forced into a remarkable situation.  This is the model of how you tell a story on film.  Amazingly well done.  It's not just good… it's real.  Everyone should be required to watch this.  This is history.  A history lesson told so well that you really get the feeling of being there... what it was like.  Gives you new respect for the old veterans you see at parades.  If you haven't seen this, you’re in the wrong.

Saving Private Ryan.  I love this movie.  It's like a collage of many small stories from WWII rolled into one.  Tom Hanks does a wonderful job here.  The film making here makes it so real, you can smell the cordite and you'll want to duck for cover.  A lot of guys want to know what it's like to be in a gunfight… this gives you an idea somewhat.  

Black Hawk Down.  Like Band of Brothers, this movie documents a real event.  Unfortunately this time it is the biggest military tragedy in American History since the Bay of Pigs.  What makes this movie hard for me to see, is that I know some of the guys that were actually there.  Some of them didn't make it back alive.  My anger rages against Somalia for this.   I blame President Clinton.

Patton.  A 3-hour, combat-laden, kick-ass movie about the greatest combat commander of WW2, the only one the friggin' Nazis were afraid of, who also happened to be among the most articulate users of profane language in history and was extraordinarily un-PC even in 1945, when the shithole concept hadn't even been invented? Damn, The opening scene alone would put that movie in the top 10, let alone combined with the scenes in Palermo where he upstaged Monty and the one near the end where he wanted to "kick the Mongoloid Russians back into Russia, where they belong!" - Paul from Texas

Gods and Generals.  General Stonewall Jackson was one of the greatest American generals ever to lead an Army.  This movies does him justice.  It shows a unique duality to the man… his religious devotion and his contrasting ruthlessness in matters of warfare.  

The Patriot.  The Mel Gibson movie, not the Steven Segal atrocity.  A story about the American Revolutionary War.  Makes you want to wave a flag.

Full Metal Jacket.  Best Drill Sergeant Ever.

Tears of the Sun.  Sometimes you have to disobey orders... you have to do what is right.  Here is one reason.  The chick has this tattered beauty thing working that would make anyone disobey an order.       

Last of the Mohicans.  This is the 2nd most beautiful peace of cinematography I have ever seen.  A touching story that you will not forget.  Has nothing really to do with any book of the same title, but it is in and of it's self, a great movie.

Kelly's Heroes.  WWII with a dash of 60’s sentimentality makes for a very interesting and unrealistic adventure more on par with Hogan’s Heroes…

We Were Soldiers.   Mel Gibson plays the lead roll in a recreation of a true story.   

Red Dawn.

Longest Day.  

Apocalypse Now.

The Battle of Britain.

The Alamo. The 1960 version with John Wayne, not the current PC POS from Disney.

The Green Berets.

Fail Safe.

Great Escape. 

Dirty Dozen.

Sands of Iwo Jima.

In Harms Way.

Gettysburg.

Bullet in the Head.  John Woo directed it.

Das Boot.  You want a submarine movie? I gotcher submarine movie right here.

Strategic Air Command.  Jimmy Stuart is in it… he’s pretty good.

Twelve O’Clock High.

Bridge on the River Kwai

Midway.

Tora, Tora, Tora.  Watch this one instead of that POS called “Pearl Harbor”.

Empire of the Sun.

Cross of Iron.

The Beast.

The Final Countdown.   Modern carrier with F-14 Tomcats goes back in time.

SCIENCE FICTION

Dune.   There are 3 versions of this movie out… One is the original theatrical release with Sting.  Then there is the Sci-Fi channel’s version with William Hurt.  Both are very good and very well done, but both are second rate compared to the Alan Smithee version.  This is the full performance of what was shot for the first film… including a whole hour of footage.  I call this one the Special Edition because it has all the goods.  Including introduction by the author, Frank Herbert himself.  If you have not seen this version, you have not seen “Dune”.  This is the greatest Science Fiction movie of all time.

Blade Runner.  Classic hard core Sci-Fi.  Others have tried to duplicate the look and feel, but no one has touched this classic.  Harrison Ford's best role.   There are two versions of this one.  The Theatrical Release version and the “Directors Cut”.  I prefer the original rather than the Directors Cut.  I like the voice over narration.  It explains the film and also gives the movie more of that 1940’s Private Eye Noir vibe that really makes this flick both different, and complete.  By the way, that vibe also resonates with the clothing styles and Rachel’s hair style… and without it, it just comes off as weird.

Equilibrium.  Take equal portions of The Matrix, Fahrenheit 451, 1984, and THX 1138 and mix them with a generous dash of Chow Yun Fat style Gun-Foo... Yeah, this movie takes some of all of these movies, but I think the results are something absolutely unique.  Made with only 20 million dollars (which is chump change to Hollywood these days) but with a power house caste... it's an amazing example of film making and good story telling.

ALIENS.  This movie was ground breaking in it's own way.  It is the first attempt at making a realistic representation of future military technology.  Somebody wake up Hicks.

Predator

Forbidden Planet      

Flash Gordon 

Ghost in the Shell    

Pitch Black.  This is more of a horror, or it was supposed to be.  Looking forward to Riddick, the sequel that is coming out.  Apple.com has a trailer for it and it looks epic.

Star Wars.  Episodes 4, 5, and 6 only.  And I am only putting this back on the list grudgingly.

GUNSLINGERS

Tombstone.  Best Western Movie Ever.  One of the most quotable movies ever made too.  Has excellent casting and acting... and just fun.  Awesome flick.

Ronin.  Best Car Chase Ever.  Good gunplay.  Good acting.  But it is a bit dry.

Heat.   This movie rocks.  Has a seriously hard core cast of top level talent… This movie is so hot it’s ferocious.  One of Al Pacino’s best rolls… and Robert DeNiro’s too.

Hard Boiled.  The Mother of All Action Movies.  John Woo and Chow Yun Fat… this is THE action movie that has inspired every other action flick since.   If you haven't seen it - you have not seen a real action flick.

The Replacement Killers.  Chow Yun Fat comes to America… This is a MUST SEE flick… It should probably be higher on the list in my personal opinion… Cool action, cool character, and a shit load of style.

The Mummy.  This movie is really a tie for 10th. What is The Mummy?  Action?  Comedy?  Horror?  This flick has it all.  Cool characters, great lines… pure entertainment.  And the only movie that I know of where the guy goes John Woo with a pair of .455 Webley hand cannons.  And it has Benny.  The chick is so cute... and hot... you gotta love her.  So shaggable.  Now, when I say The Mummy, I mean both of them.  It's all one story.  Scorpion King needs not apply.  

A Man APART.  Vin Diesel plays a powerful role and gives us his best performance.

Man on Fire.  A movie about vendetta.

The Getaway.  The Steve McQueen version, not the new POS.

The Transporter.   Fast action, cool cars, cool guns, cool character... and a totally shaggaliscious Asian hottie!  One of the better action flicks out there now.

Big Trouble in Little China.  Jack Burton just kicks ass in a Mullet Trucker sort of way.  Fun movie.  Just don't try to take it seriously or ask any questions or the Three Storms will come for you.

FINAL OPTION.  The SAS takes on some terrorists.  It's an older movie, but a goodie. 

The Mexico Trilogy:  El Meriachi, Desperado, Once Upon A Time In Mexico.  Troublemaker Studios greatest films to date…  Robert Rodrigues is a one of the most brilliant directors on the planet.  The way he tells a story should be studied by all other directors wanting to improve their craft.   

Unforgiven.  One of Clint Eastwood’s greatest and more subtle rolls.

Quigley Down Under. 

Romeo is bleeding.

Open Range.  Kevin Costner’s best roll.

Bullit.  Classic Steve McQueen.

The Crow.  I really don’t know where to put this one.  It’s a pretty fucked up movie, but it’s good.  Forget the other flick that tries to be a sequel of some sort… only watch this one.

The Boondock Saints.

The Killer.  This is a John Woo made in Hong Kong.  It’s excellent and you will see a lot of other movies in this one.

Face Off.   One of the greatest movie villains ever.

The French Connection.

The Professional.    “Leon” is the other title that this film goes by.  This movie rocks… Bullets slide off him.      

Pale Rider.  Another classic Eastwood, one of his best.  Don’t mess with this Preacherman. 

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly.    

A Fistful of Dollars.

Outlaw Josey Whales.

True Grit.

The Shootist.

The Man Who Shoot Liberty Valance.

For a Few Dollars More.

High Plains Drifter.

Young Guns.

The Way of the Gun.  One handed reloading drills shown.

HORROR

Army of Darkness.  Cult Classic.  You either get it or you don't.  If you don't get it, I can't explain it to you.

DRACULA.  Bram Stocker's Dracula is the original and best vampire story and this flick does it justice.  There have been other versions, but Francis Ford Coppola finally captures the real feeling of the story.   Unlike all other Vampire movies… but that is a whole other rant for another day.

Below.  Set in WWII on a submarine, this virtually unknown movie is amazingly good.  Great story, script, acting, and direction.  I love this flick.

The Thing

Fallen.    

Sleepy Hollow

The Ninth Gate

The Devil’s Backbone

The Ring

28 Days Later

The Exorcist

The Omen      

Stigmata 

Stir of Echos

The Haunting

Silence of the Lambs

Event Horizon 

Signs

The Prophecy.   2 and 3 as well… Christopher Walken’s creepiest character.

House.  More of a comedy really but a fun flick.

Dog Soldiers.  Creepiest werewolves ever filmed.  

The Lost Boys

The Shining

THE CLASSICS

Master and Commander: The far side of the world.  This is a new movie, but it deserves to be called a classic.  They made this movie exactly the way new movies are not… it goes at it’s own pace and tells the story in it’s own ways.  This flick should almost be in a category all by itself.   The detail given to the life on the ship is rich and full and better than anything I can remember.  This movie can be used as an educational tool to teach kids an understanding of what it was like on ships in the era of the tall ships.  The details to the fighting highlights and illustrates what we learn about in history with the huge armadas of Europe and the war of 1812.  This film tells the story about the kind of people that shaped the world.

Vertigo.

The Godfather.  The whole series.

North by North West.

Charade.  

How to Murder your Wife.  Jack Lemmon’s best film ever.

Ben Hur. 

Lawrence of Arabia.

Spartacus.

Casablanca. 

The Maltese Falcon.

The Ten Commandments.

Samson and Delilah.

Little Caesar.

CAR FLICKS

Grand Prix.  Best racing movie ever.       

Gone in 60 Seconds.  The Nick Cage version of the film.  I love this flick.  The mix of characters, cool cars, and cool music is just great.  Some will say the original is better… but I just like the vibe this one has.

Ronin as I have mentioned before… it’s also a car flick thanks to what is the best car chase since Bullit.

Bullit.  Also mentioned before… is also a great car flick.  Ronin knocked it out of first, but some might argue that.

The Blues Brothers.

COMEDIES AND OTHER FAVORITES

Monty Python.  The Holy Grail, Life of Brian, Meaning of Life… All of them… and the Python related flicks are all awesome such as Fish Called Wanda, Fierce Creatures, and the like… all the Flying Circus tapes… they are all required viewings for any student of comedy.

Funny thing happened on the way to the forum.  Comedy Gold.  One of the funniest movies ever made.  And it’s a musical too… but don’t let that scare you.  Trust me, the movie is worth watching.  The isle of silent women... too good to be true.  

1776.  This is how our country really came into being.  Ben Franklin, George Washington, and his horse... and don't forget Virginia!  

Grosse Point Blank.  You don't get Dental coverage with the job. Don't tease him, you know what he does for a living.  Probably the most fun gangster movie ever.

Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels.  I’m not sure where to put this one… but it is a must see.  

Shrek.  Because Ogres have layers... just like an onion. Bye Bye.

Heavy Metal. 

Wizards.

Titan A.E.

The Whole 9 Yards.

Office Space.

Meet the Parents.  Robert De Niro as your father in law?  Maybe this should be in the Horror section.

Always.  The planes are awesome.  John Goodman is awesome in this one too.

Stripes.  I watched this flick the night before I went to Basic Training.  Couldn’t keep a straight face the whole time there at Benning.  Drill Sergeants hated me. 

Les Miserables. 

Planes, Trains and Automobiles.  DO NOT watch this movie while recovering from any abdominal surgery… trust me.

Time Bandits.   A Monty Python related flick, this one stands out on it’s own as unique.  This flick is like a dream… a really weird dream.  You remember this one.  It’s sticks to your mind.

Rock and Rule.  My name is Mok, thanks a lot.

So I married an Axe Murderer.  A modern romantic comedy classic.  This movie has everything you want… Big Heads, Hard Hearted Harbingers of Hagus, and Whoa-Man!  Mike Meyers best work.

Fire & Ice.  This is an early attempt at a fantasy movie done all in animation.  The artwork isn’t that good, but this is one of the early works where they used actors to base the animation from and tried to make it look realistic.  This movie influenced Japanese Animation a great deal.  The story is fantasy, and it’s not for kids.

Better Off Dead.  The SS at the end… the French chick… this is what every guy wanted with I was in high school.

The Thomas Crown Affair.  This movie is what “Entrapment” should have been.  This is an example of what you can do with a movie with an actual director.  Same director as “Equilibrium”.  

Pink Floyd - The Wall.  Roger Waters speaks from a platform about post WWII England that comes out in this flick, and in his albums. The music is great, and lends to some what of a warning to future generations.  If you have never seen it, it is indeed worth viewing.

Animal House – No one has done a movie like this as good as this one… but there has been plenty of attempts.  This flick is righteous.   

Amy's O.  Sundance Film Festival picture...  This is a funny romantic comedy of sorts that I found entertaining.  I probably shouldn’t have liked it, but I did.   

Dr. Stranglove.

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Copyright G H Hill 1999-2012

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